Blog of an Obscure Pagan

Em hotep (in peace) everyone,

Some of you may have noticed that my YouTube channel has finally bit the bullet, so to speak. ;P I decided to leave a very small few videos on public, many were made private and some were also deleted. I had the full intent of entirely closing my channel down to start anew once my place in my new spiritual path is established, however I did not want to lose many of the videos I have done in the past- namely, those that pretty much chronicle the growth of my relationship with my significant other over the past 2 years.

Anyway, no new videos will be going up on my YouTube channel. It is essentially a dead channel, though I thank you all again for the wonderful 3 years or so you have given me on YouTube. I am not, however, leaving the internet altogether- that's pretty near impossible for me! My blog will remain, and I will continue to voice my thoughts and opinions here in a context where there are no 'expectations' or haters breathing down my neck everytime I open my mouth. I will try my best to keep you all updated, especially on my new faith- Kemetic Orthodoxy.

Speaking of which, the KO beginners' class just began last week, and so far things are going wonderfully! We had two chats regarding the lesson material this week, both of which I was fortunate enough to attend. The Kai-Imakhus ("Exalted Reverends") who are running the chats are incredibly intelligent people, and it's quite fun to get to pick their brains ;P I've also begun performing the central rite of the faith, called "Senut," every evening that I can. It seems that since the class has started, though, many of the familiar Names (Gods) I had significant interaction with previously have kind of "backed off" to let me explore and learn on my own. I'm hoping that with my continued prayer and activity in the class that they or any new Names will make themselves known to me, or at least just drop in and say hello every now and then. It's been quiet for a week or two, but I'm keeping my eyes/ears/mind/heart open ;P Apparently this is a similar experience to what many go through during the beginners' period, so I'm not worried in the least. I've been waiting for this class for around 5 or 6 months, so this is a really exciting time for me. I'm finally on my way to having my Rite of Parent Divination (RPD) done, and then my Shemsu-naming. Nekhtet (victory)!

Senebty (may you be healthy),

Laura

Em hotep all. :)

Sorry for not having posted in over a month, things are getting pretty busy 'round these parts. We're past the midway point of the semester so my schoolwork is slowly suffocating me, thankfully that'll be over and done with by mid-December.

Other than that, I have been maintaining my private blog weekly for the most part, awaiting the start of the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginners' class, and losing weight. I've lost about 6 pounds in a little under 3 weeks, so I'm right on track! My final, high-end goal is to be back at my freshman year of high school weight, which at this point requires me to lose another 36 pounds. These past 3 weeks have been pretty easy as all I've been doing is cutting down my calories massively without starving myself, the fat has been burning off all by itself. I really wish I would've figured out this system earlier, I never would've gotten as 'big' as I am if I had ;P 2 pounds a week is a healthy amount to shed, and losing it gradually helps prevent the risk of all that flabby skin and disgustingness that comes with drastic weight loss in too short a period of time. x.x It's all good. I just have to keep it up and not give into temptation when Halloween candy, Thanksgiving feasting, and Christmas goodies start being shoved in my face :P

Anyway, I'll keep this one brief. Expect more out of me when the semester is done kicking my ass! :)

Senebty,

Laura

Hotep (peace) everyone,

So I know I said I'd probably be pretty much dead on YouTube for a while, but apparently- I lied. ;)

No, actually I just got a really good idea for a video while I was laying in bed last night, and thought you all might be interested to hear about it. This two-part video is basically a disambiguation of Egyptian hawk Deities, as most people have a misconception that Egyptian + hawk = Horus, when this is most certainly NOT always the case. As such, I give a breakdown of how to tell the difference between Heru-sa-Aset, Heru-Wer, Ra, Ra-Heruakhety, and Khonsu. This is by all means NOT the only hawk deities you will run into in any studies of Egyptian Gods, but they are pretty well-known.

I also speak a bit in the end about syncretization and how I view syncretized deities... and give a pretty tasty analogy. xD Enjoy!

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura

Part 1:


Part 2:

Okay, so I'm giving you all permission to yell at me now and tell me to make up my f*cking mind. <.<;

...Just kidding. Actually, I fully recognize that my spiritual "confusion" has all happened for a reason, and a very important one at that. It seems like every other day, my path is changing, evolving, moving back and forth, taking on new elements, shedding others, and morphing into something else entirely. Some may call this fickle, and some may think that I need to just chill out and "stick with something" already. It's been a long while that I have wrestled with labels, my spiritual path, and where I belong, but the journey was and is necessary for me. Every time I enter a new spirituality, revisit an old one, etc, I learn something new about myself. I've learned more about my values and my personal beliefs in the past few months than I have in the entire 7 years I have studied Pagan faiths. It took seeing the world in so many different contexts for me to gain a new perspective, see things from others points-of-view, and formulate my own ideas about the mystery of the lives that we lead and the world around us.

It is after all of this, considering my own views, reevaluating myself constantly, and NEVER ceasing to ask myself questions that I have been able to find a faith that aligns with those views. This path is Kemetic Orthodoxy. I've spoken before about my interest in Kemetic spirituality, the Egyptian gods and how they have come into my life in various ways, but after having been a part of the House of Netjer Forum first as a lurker and now as a guest for a combined two years, I have come to decide that this IS the path I want to take. Why? In all of my spiritual experience, I have never interacted with any spiritual entities that felt so.. *tangible*. Reachable, touchable, able to interact with us and cause change in the lives of mortals. It is this tangibility I have been seeking in my spirituality for quite some time now, and I think I've found it. This doesn't mean that on occasion I won't honor or express affection towards deities of other pantheons. This also does not mean that I will not continue my divinatory practices, crystal work, or Reiki. None of these things even remotely conflict with the standard tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy. Rather, there is no requirement for one who enters the House of Netjer as a Remetj (friend of the Faith) or Shemsu (member of the House) to abandon previous belief structures at all or religiously-unaffiliated energy work. Remetj may practice religions above Kemetic Orthodoxy, alongside, etc. Shemsu are asked to place their dedication to Netjer (God, Divinity, etc) higher than all other religious practices, but again - they are not asked to abandon these practices altogether.

So, Coty (YT: Cotyism), Paul (YT: SpykeVampyre), and I are all signed up for the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginner's classes, set to start (most likely) next week. We will all be learning together, and it is my hope that I can journal some of my experiences here for you all to see. At the end of the process, I will undergo the Rite of Parent Divination (RPD), and depending upon the results of that Rite, decide if I will go on to become a Shemsu of the faith and receive a Shemsu name. So, here is the formal announcement. I am not going back on this... I have found not only a practice that resonates with me, but a spiritual home - a community with whom I feel truly connected. I have found fellowship... I have found a Temple; physical, and spiritual. I am still a Pagan, I always will be, and I will always defend my fellow Pagans with all that I am, regardless of differences in belief structure. However, it must be said.

I am no longer a Wiccan.

EEK GASP! ;P Okay, I apologize for the dramatic big text... but I wanted to formalize it. As a result of my no longer being a Wiccan, I will be removing all of my videos on Wicca. I feel that it has served its purpose. Those of you who were helped in any way by my videos, I am glad to have played a part in the growth of your spirituality. If ever you need to talk about your path or want advice, I am still always here to lend an ear or a shoulder, to hear you out. However, I no longer consider myself any kind of voice, obscure or well-known, for the Wiccan community on YouTube. I may open up a new channel in the future, but if I do, it will be based upon Paganism in general, current events, and Kemetic spirituality. I appreciate all of you for having made the past 3 years of my time on YouTube discussing Wicca such a wonderful experience, and hope that you all find peace and happiness on your spiritual journeys.

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura

Hello and Blessings Everyone.

I think it's pretty clear from many of my recent postings that for the past few weeks, I have been quite "spiritually confused." For a while, I would be getting impulses every other day- "maybe I should be this! maybe I'm a recon! Maybe, Maybe..." An underlying theme in all of this is that I have been making FAR too many decisions, FAR too fast.

But why? Why do I have to jump from one path to another, immediately? The answer is- I don't. No one does. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to wander for a while until you find your bearings again. You don't have to jump headfirst into another path if you are not ready, and you really shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with taking time for personal reflection, questioning, pondering, and waiting for signs from the Gods as to where to go from here. It's better to be sure. It's better to take the time, study what is out there, reflect, and meditate. It's better to take the time to listen to your intuition and really hear the WHOLE story, instead of jumping the gun and going on your first impulse.

When it comes down to it, spirituality is fluid. Regardless of what religion you start in and what religion you end up in (if any), they all influence the structure of your beliefs, and they all in some way, shape, or form, make you who you are today. Just because you're no longer Christian doesn't mean that Christianity and being in it hasn't influenced your beliefs, or your perception of the world, and that's okay. Every faith has something to teach, good or bad, and all are valuable lessons.

So, I'm going on a spiritual hiatus of sorts. I will still blog when I get the impulse, and let you all know where I'm headed and what I've been pondering. However, I need this time to think things through, and most importantly- to listen. To open myself up, and to listen to what the Gods are trying to tell me before I jump headfirst into something else. In the meantime, I am still a Witch. I don't think my relationship with nature, the elements, and magick is ever going to fade, it's that deeply a part of me. However, I am keeping that path separate from my reverence for the Gods, which has and always will come first... I just need to find out who these voices belong to.

)O( BB,

Laura

Hello again and blessings everyone,

I'm just posting today to say that last night at 9:53 PM, my little niece Isabella Marie was born! She is absolutely beautiful and healthy as can be.

While the whole ordeal of my sister-in-law's long 12-14 hour labor was going on, I came up with a birthing chant, almost a way to "coax" the baby into venturing out into the world. It's 2 lines, repeated as much as necessary, continually reinforcing your intent and hopefully aiding the labor process:

Blessed Child, out of sight,
Come Ye forth into the light!

You can even sing it if you'd like. I sang it in the car on my way home the other day and came to find out that as soon as I left (to go relax and eat dinner before I came back to the hospital) my sister-in-law's contractions got even worse and she had completely dilated!

Just another tidbit that I hope is useful to you all in some way.

)O( BB,

Laura

((Caution: This blog will contain profanity. Do not read if you are easily offended by such things.))

Brightest Blessings everyone,

I apologize profusely for not having updated in a very long time. This semester of college has been especially busy for me and as such I have not had near as much time as I used to have to devote to blogging.

Anyway, the purpose of this blog today is to inform you all of another situation on YouTube. I'm not one to get reeled into video drama, to attack people, or anything of that nature. For the most part, I stay out of it because I see no benefit in becoming involved unless some greater ideal or our civil rights as pagans are being threatened. However, I can't stay silent on this issue. It has upset me far too much.

Recently, a YouTube user named MagickalHummingbird posted a video called "Be Aware." MH claims that she is a "Green Celtic Wiccan Witch," a strict Organic Vegan, and has studied in and under many different well-known pagan organizations, the majority (if not all) of which she mentions first and foremost in her video. I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever. Her religious choices, her lifestyle choices, and the groups she says she is a part of are all a part of what makes her who she is, and I have no reason to even be concerned with that.

However, what DOES concern me is the major claim being made in this video, which she has since made private as a result of the plethora of video responses made by angry fellow pagans who were offended by it. Her claim is that any pagan who associates with Satanists, Atheists, Agnostics, or Skeptics is harming the pagan community, and that paganism has nothing to do with skepticism. In addition, she claims that out in the "real world" people agree that we should not associate with them, and that the group of people on YouTube who do so are basically part of an isolated, misguided group. Allow me to be frank- this is complete and utter bullshit.

She claims that Satanists are not pagan, and that skepticism and LOGIC (yes, in one of her other videos she says this- go watch them to see what I mean) INHIBIT "mystical and magickal" growth and that one cannot move forward in these ways until they ABANDON LOGIC and skepticism. Ladies and gentlemen- this floors me beyond belief. Without logic and skepticism, one accepts all they hear as fact and does not QUESTION. Another way to describe this is "blind faith." Is this not what many of us were seeking to be RID of when we left Christianity? To be FREE to question, and to make our own logical, sound decisions in regards to WHERE we put our faith and WHY? It absolutely astounds me that there are pagans in the community who would tell us we need to abandon logic. If Miss Hummingbird wishes to abandon logic and reason, it is her very right to do so- she's already done it and showed it beyond question. However, to tell the rest of the pagan community to follow suit and hop on her weak and unsubstantiated bandwagon is quite frankly insulting.

In addition to that, she is attempting to divide our community. Our community, which is SMALL ENOUGH, she is trying to separate by pushing out Satanists and telling us not to associate with them, Atheists, Agnostics, etc. She is doing the same thing to the Satanic community that Christianity has done to the pagan community as a whole in the past. When the Christians were trying to convert the pagan country-dwellers of Europe, what did they do? They demonized their religion, called it evil, and touted their faith as the TRUTH. Why? To separate and elevate themselves to a higher seat of power. For we as pagans to throw Satanists under the bus is doing the exact same thing. Pagans are constantly judged for the MISCONCEPTIONS perpetuated about our faith. Satanists (many of whom are pagan) are as well! For Wiccans and Pagans to stop associating with Satanists, to assume that they are "evil" and not a part of the pagan community because they are "dark" is intolerant, ignorant, and elitist. Light CANNOT exist without dark. We live in a world of balancing forces, one cannot exist without the other.

Now, I get the feeling that I understand what is going on here. MH is most likely taking the approach that she doesn't want Wiccans confused with Satanists, so we should just throw them all under the bus to make OUR path look better. This is selfish and HARMFUL. I would think someone who claims to so vehemently respect all of "Gaia's creatures" would show the same respect to Satanists who have done nothing to harm her. And guess what else? No matter how far you would like to distance yourself from the Satanic community - Christians will STILL THINK WE WORSHIP SATAN. Why? ANY god who is not Yahweh/YHVH/Jehovah is the ADVERSARY according to the majority of Christians. It doesn't matter if you call your gods Pan, Cernunnos, Brighid, Jack Daniels -They are ALL manifestations of SATAN according to the Christian community at large. So, in short, such an effort would be completely useless, and just make the pagan community look like a bunch of bigoted assholes. There is nothing wrong with Satanism, just as there is nothing wrong with Wicca. It is the MISCONCEPTIONS perpetuated by other faiths ABOUT our paths that make people think they are evil. How do we fix that problem? Correct the misconceptions! If people choose to believe us, wonderful. If they don't, that's their perogative. But honestly, who gives a shit what they think about us as long as we are treated fairly under the eyes of the law? What happens between me and my gods is my business, whether or not the people around me agree with that is not my concern.

I apologize for being quite "blunt" about this topic, but I felt it was necessary. As I said before her video has been made private, but if you would like to visit her channel and hear about her views on Mysticism and Magick and how they cannot be achieved with logic, go watch some of her videos.


[ONE LAST NOTE! I have updated my website yet again. Changed the color scheme, got rid of "My Path" since I will never be able to write down EVERYTHING that influences my beliefs, and replaced it with the ObscurePagan.com Forums! There is also a LIVE chatroom in the forums that you can access through the "Chat" option on the top console with my logo in it. Please post on the forums, introduce yourself, and feel free to ask questions or add content. The only way to get the forums-a-hoppin' is for you to make your own contributions! :)]

)O( Blessed Be,

Laura

Hey folks.

So tonight, I did a solitary Imbolc ritual. As this Greater Sabbat recognizes the growing strength of the Sun, in my personal tradition I have blended it with the Kemetic mythos by using it as an opportunity to honor Aset (Isis) and Heru sa Aset (Horus). At this time of year, the Sun begins to grow in strength, preparing itself to return to the Earth and begin to overtake the darkness at the Spring Equinox. This is a good parallel to the time period where Aset protected Heru from his uncle Set, who wished to cause him harm so that he could not reclaim the throne and avenge his father's death. Aset nurtured her son, helping him to grow stronger each day to prepare for his coming duties.

The message I received from my Imbolc ritual tonight was quite clear: Now is the time for us all to embody the Mother and the Son. It's not a gender issue, it has nothing to do with that- it's all about the role you play in other's lives, and the role they play in yours.

From Aset, I have learned this lesson: Embody the mother in the lives of those you care about. Support them, love them, nurture them, and be their undying source of friendship and compassion, to help them achieve all they wish to accomplish in life. When the land is dark and desolate, be their light, their source of warmth and love. Be their hand to hold, to push them to succeed, to encourage them that they are capable of doing anything they wish to achieve. Be their unshakable foundation, their rock.

Heru has taught me this: Embody the Son/Sun in your own life. As the Sun grows in strength and vitality, soon to bring life to the land which has been dormant and sleeping all winter, may you also awaken your inspiration, drive, motivation, and determination. May you manifest within yourself the power to accomplish all that you wish to achieve in the coming year. And in addition, may your friends embody the mother for you, and help you to grow strong in your endeavors. The time for slumber is growing short, and the time for action is now. It is up to you to make your own happiness.


These are the messages I have received tonight, ones which I feel we can all benefit from hearing. Blessed Imbolc to all!

BB )O(

obscurevisions

I pose a question to you all:
Do the Gods change?

I'm going to give my perspective, but I'd love to hear yours as well. Go ahead and leave comments here on my blog, or you can visit my YouTube page, comment, or post a video response.

ALSO: I apologize for the loud whurring of my laptop, this thing is a beast. I should have used my headset! =P

BB )O(
obscurevisions

Intro Music: "Marco Polo" - Loreena McKennitt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znQXoYJiIc4

Hey everyone.

If you've been on YouTube lately, you're probably well aware of the situation with Tannhaus and his suspension, as a result of a certain someone's efforts to take down the Pagans of the YouTube Community. I am hosting this video here, his inspiring Call to Arms, in the hopes it will reach more individuals who otherwise might not have seen it.

Updates on this situation can be found here.

http://blip.tv/play/gYMm5PEYjKMC

BB )O(

Good afternoon, and what a pleasant afternoon it is! :D

Today I wanted to briefly discuss different types of altar layouts, and what I use, since my structure is not exactly one of the conventional Wiccan methods.

In most pagan paths, the altar is the center for your spiritual practice. Upon it are all of your most commonly used tools of worship and magick, items to be offered to deity, and also items that symbolize certain concepts to you. They by no means need to be flashy, and cost you more than you can afford. Honestly, you could turn a cardboard box over and cover it with a small cloth to start with, if you have nothing else, or if you need to be "inconspicuous." You can leave an altar up permanently, or you can set it up and take it down whenever you intend to use it. It's up to you.

There are two popular altar layouts of which I am aware. The first is the feminine/masculine, Goddess/God duality layout. On the left hand side of the altar, you place all tools/objects that fall under the feminine aspect of Divinity. This includes the elements of water, and earth. On the right hand side of the altar, you place tools/objects that fall under the masculine aspect of divinity, fire and air. In the center, you place any items that are dedicated to both masculine and feminine, such as offerings, the pentacle, etc.

The second popular altar layout is the elemental layout, which divides the altar into quadrants dedicated to each element. Each quadrant contains items and tools that fall under that individual element, and oftentimes in the center is the realm of spirit, where you might place images of Deity or offerings. North belongs to earth, east to air, south to fire, and west to water.

The altar layout I use is not a conventional one, and quite honestly I don't know of anyone else who does this. I've always been a huge fan of the yin yang concept within Taoism, because it just makes sense to me. Nothing is pure; not everything is so clear cut. With the other altar layouts, I was running into issues with overlapping items. "ACK!! Where the hell am I supposed to put the abalone shell? It's for the Goddess, but I'm using it for smudging, and putting my smudge stick in it... smudge is fire and air... I don't have room in the center RAAAWR!!!" x3 I'm sure I'm not the only one who has fell into that before. Or, how about dealing with the fact that in the Kemetic pantheon, there are often SOLAR goddesses and LUNAR gods? Where on earth do you place them?! Thus, the yin yang layout was born. There is always a bit of yin in the yang, and a bit of yang in the yin. The symbol itself clearly displays this concept, and it is true of many items you may wish to place on your altar. The yin yang layout allows you to place items that are for both aspects (evenly so) in the center, or objects that lean MOSTLY to the yin on the left, or MOSTLY to the yang on the right. As such, Yinepu sits on the left side of my altar, and Bast on the right. Bast may be female, but she is solar, a protectress, an avenger, and embodies many yang characteristics. Yinepu may be male, but he is a lunar god, and deals often with the dead and many yin concepts.

So, I hope this gave you all a bit of insight into altar layouts, what's out there for you to choose from, and what I use. Most importantly, remember that your altar is your own spiritual space, so you should always place items where it feels proper to you. If it makes sense in your heart- go for it. If someone yells at you for not following "proper structure," remind them that paganism is non-dogmatic, and how you practice your religion is of no concern to anyone but yourself.

Brightest Blessings! )O(

Courtesy of Dictionary.com:

obscure [uh b-skyoor]
adjective, -scur⋅er, -scur⋅est, verb, -scured, -scur⋅ing, noun –adjective

6. of little or no prominence, note, fame, or distinction: an obscure French artist.


I am your average, run-of-the-mill pagan college student, living in Northeastern Pennsylvania. I am not a scholar, I have no degrees to speak of, and the area I am studying has nothing at all to do with my religion. I'm a geek, a code monkey, an Information Technology major. I am 20 years old, and I live with my Methodist Christian parents while I attend school.

There is nothing special about me; I am obscure. I am not well-known in the pagan community at large, and I never expect to be one of those iconic, legendary figures whose reputations precede them. I am merely a student of my pagan faith, always learning. This blog will serve to provide you all with a glimpse into my perspective on pagan religion, personal experiences, growth, frustrations, and everything under the sun. Occasionally, I will feature some of my more informative YouTube videos here as well.

This blog is my voice, and with it I will share a piece of my spirit with you.