Blog of an Obscure Pagan

Em hotep all. :)

Sorry for not having posted in over a month, things are getting pretty busy 'round these parts. We're past the midway point of the semester so my schoolwork is slowly suffocating me, thankfully that'll be over and done with by mid-December.

Other than that, I have been maintaining my private blog weekly for the most part, awaiting the start of the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginners' class, and losing weight. I've lost about 6 pounds in a little under 3 weeks, so I'm right on track! My final, high-end goal is to be back at my freshman year of high school weight, which at this point requires me to lose another 36 pounds. These past 3 weeks have been pretty easy as all I've been doing is cutting down my calories massively without starving myself, the fat has been burning off all by itself. I really wish I would've figured out this system earlier, I never would've gotten as 'big' as I am if I had ;P 2 pounds a week is a healthy amount to shed, and losing it gradually helps prevent the risk of all that flabby skin and disgustingness that comes with drastic weight loss in too short a period of time. x.x It's all good. I just have to keep it up and not give into temptation when Halloween candy, Thanksgiving feasting, and Christmas goodies start being shoved in my face :P

Anyway, I'll keep this one brief. Expect more out of me when the semester is done kicking my ass! :)

Senebty,

Laura

Okay, so I'm giving you all permission to yell at me now and tell me to make up my f*cking mind. <.<;

...Just kidding. Actually, I fully recognize that my spiritual "confusion" has all happened for a reason, and a very important one at that. It seems like every other day, my path is changing, evolving, moving back and forth, taking on new elements, shedding others, and morphing into something else entirely. Some may call this fickle, and some may think that I need to just chill out and "stick with something" already. It's been a long while that I have wrestled with labels, my spiritual path, and where I belong, but the journey was and is necessary for me. Every time I enter a new spirituality, revisit an old one, etc, I learn something new about myself. I've learned more about my values and my personal beliefs in the past few months than I have in the entire 7 years I have studied Pagan faiths. It took seeing the world in so many different contexts for me to gain a new perspective, see things from others points-of-view, and formulate my own ideas about the mystery of the lives that we lead and the world around us.

It is after all of this, considering my own views, reevaluating myself constantly, and NEVER ceasing to ask myself questions that I have been able to find a faith that aligns with those views. This path is Kemetic Orthodoxy. I've spoken before about my interest in Kemetic spirituality, the Egyptian gods and how they have come into my life in various ways, but after having been a part of the House of Netjer Forum first as a lurker and now as a guest for a combined two years, I have come to decide that this IS the path I want to take. Why? In all of my spiritual experience, I have never interacted with any spiritual entities that felt so.. *tangible*. Reachable, touchable, able to interact with us and cause change in the lives of mortals. It is this tangibility I have been seeking in my spirituality for quite some time now, and I think I've found it. This doesn't mean that on occasion I won't honor or express affection towards deities of other pantheons. This also does not mean that I will not continue my divinatory practices, crystal work, or Reiki. None of these things even remotely conflict with the standard tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy. Rather, there is no requirement for one who enters the House of Netjer as a Remetj (friend of the Faith) or Shemsu (member of the House) to abandon previous belief structures at all or religiously-unaffiliated energy work. Remetj may practice religions above Kemetic Orthodoxy, alongside, etc. Shemsu are asked to place their dedication to Netjer (God, Divinity, etc) higher than all other religious practices, but again - they are not asked to abandon these practices altogether.

So, Coty (YT: Cotyism), Paul (YT: SpykeVampyre), and I are all signed up for the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginner's classes, set to start (most likely) next week. We will all be learning together, and it is my hope that I can journal some of my experiences here for you all to see. At the end of the process, I will undergo the Rite of Parent Divination (RPD), and depending upon the results of that Rite, decide if I will go on to become a Shemsu of the faith and receive a Shemsu name. So, here is the formal announcement. I am not going back on this... I have found not only a practice that resonates with me, but a spiritual home - a community with whom I feel truly connected. I have found fellowship... I have found a Temple; physical, and spiritual. I am still a Pagan, I always will be, and I will always defend my fellow Pagans with all that I am, regardless of differences in belief structure. However, it must be said.

I am no longer a Wiccan.

EEK GASP! ;P Okay, I apologize for the dramatic big text... but I wanted to formalize it. As a result of my no longer being a Wiccan, I will be removing all of my videos on Wicca. I feel that it has served its purpose. Those of you who were helped in any way by my videos, I am glad to have played a part in the growth of your spirituality. If ever you need to talk about your path or want advice, I am still always here to lend an ear or a shoulder, to hear you out. However, I no longer consider myself any kind of voice, obscure or well-known, for the Wiccan community on YouTube. I may open up a new channel in the future, but if I do, it will be based upon Paganism in general, current events, and Kemetic spirituality. I appreciate all of you for having made the past 3 years of my time on YouTube discussing Wicca such a wonderful experience, and hope that you all find peace and happiness on your spiritual journeys.

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura

Hello and Blessings Everyone.

I think it's pretty clear from many of my recent postings that for the past few weeks, I have been quite "spiritually confused." For a while, I would be getting impulses every other day- "maybe I should be this! maybe I'm a recon! Maybe, Maybe..." An underlying theme in all of this is that I have been making FAR too many decisions, FAR too fast.

But why? Why do I have to jump from one path to another, immediately? The answer is- I don't. No one does. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to wander for a while until you find your bearings again. You don't have to jump headfirst into another path if you are not ready, and you really shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with taking time for personal reflection, questioning, pondering, and waiting for signs from the Gods as to where to go from here. It's better to be sure. It's better to take the time, study what is out there, reflect, and meditate. It's better to take the time to listen to your intuition and really hear the WHOLE story, instead of jumping the gun and going on your first impulse.

When it comes down to it, spirituality is fluid. Regardless of what religion you start in and what religion you end up in (if any), they all influence the structure of your beliefs, and they all in some way, shape, or form, make you who you are today. Just because you're no longer Christian doesn't mean that Christianity and being in it hasn't influenced your beliefs, or your perception of the world, and that's okay. Every faith has something to teach, good or bad, and all are valuable lessons.

So, I'm going on a spiritual hiatus of sorts. I will still blog when I get the impulse, and let you all know where I'm headed and what I've been pondering. However, I need this time to think things through, and most importantly- to listen. To open myself up, and to listen to what the Gods are trying to tell me before I jump headfirst into something else. In the meantime, I am still a Witch. I don't think my relationship with nature, the elements, and magick is ever going to fade, it's that deeply a part of me. However, I am keeping that path separate from my reverence for the Gods, which has and always will come first... I just need to find out who these voices belong to.

)O( BB,

Laura