Blog of an Obscure Pagan

Em hotep (in peace) everyone,

Some of you may have noticed that my YouTube channel has finally bit the bullet, so to speak. ;P I decided to leave a very small few videos on public, many were made private and some were also deleted. I had the full intent of entirely closing my channel down to start anew once my place in my new spiritual path is established, however I did not want to lose many of the videos I have done in the past- namely, those that pretty much chronicle the growth of my relationship with my significant other over the past 2 years.

Anyway, no new videos will be going up on my YouTube channel. It is essentially a dead channel, though I thank you all again for the wonderful 3 years or so you have given me on YouTube. I am not, however, leaving the internet altogether- that's pretty near impossible for me! My blog will remain, and I will continue to voice my thoughts and opinions here in a context where there are no 'expectations' or haters breathing down my neck everytime I open my mouth. I will try my best to keep you all updated, especially on my new faith- Kemetic Orthodoxy.

Speaking of which, the KO beginners' class just began last week, and so far things are going wonderfully! We had two chats regarding the lesson material this week, both of which I was fortunate enough to attend. The Kai-Imakhus ("Exalted Reverends") who are running the chats are incredibly intelligent people, and it's quite fun to get to pick their brains ;P I've also begun performing the central rite of the faith, called "Senut," every evening that I can. It seems that since the class has started, though, many of the familiar Names (Gods) I had significant interaction with previously have kind of "backed off" to let me explore and learn on my own. I'm hoping that with my continued prayer and activity in the class that they or any new Names will make themselves known to me, or at least just drop in and say hello every now and then. It's been quiet for a week or two, but I'm keeping my eyes/ears/mind/heart open ;P Apparently this is a similar experience to what many go through during the beginners' period, so I'm not worried in the least. I've been waiting for this class for around 5 or 6 months, so this is a really exciting time for me. I'm finally on my way to having my Rite of Parent Divination (RPD) done, and then my Shemsu-naming. Nekhtet (victory)!

Senebty (may you be healthy),

Laura

Okay, so I'm giving you all permission to yell at me now and tell me to make up my f*cking mind. <.<;

...Just kidding. Actually, I fully recognize that my spiritual "confusion" has all happened for a reason, and a very important one at that. It seems like every other day, my path is changing, evolving, moving back and forth, taking on new elements, shedding others, and morphing into something else entirely. Some may call this fickle, and some may think that I need to just chill out and "stick with something" already. It's been a long while that I have wrestled with labels, my spiritual path, and where I belong, but the journey was and is necessary for me. Every time I enter a new spirituality, revisit an old one, etc, I learn something new about myself. I've learned more about my values and my personal beliefs in the past few months than I have in the entire 7 years I have studied Pagan faiths. It took seeing the world in so many different contexts for me to gain a new perspective, see things from others points-of-view, and formulate my own ideas about the mystery of the lives that we lead and the world around us.

It is after all of this, considering my own views, reevaluating myself constantly, and NEVER ceasing to ask myself questions that I have been able to find a faith that aligns with those views. This path is Kemetic Orthodoxy. I've spoken before about my interest in Kemetic spirituality, the Egyptian gods and how they have come into my life in various ways, but after having been a part of the House of Netjer Forum first as a lurker and now as a guest for a combined two years, I have come to decide that this IS the path I want to take. Why? In all of my spiritual experience, I have never interacted with any spiritual entities that felt so.. *tangible*. Reachable, touchable, able to interact with us and cause change in the lives of mortals. It is this tangibility I have been seeking in my spirituality for quite some time now, and I think I've found it. This doesn't mean that on occasion I won't honor or express affection towards deities of other pantheons. This also does not mean that I will not continue my divinatory practices, crystal work, or Reiki. None of these things even remotely conflict with the standard tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy. Rather, there is no requirement for one who enters the House of Netjer as a Remetj (friend of the Faith) or Shemsu (member of the House) to abandon previous belief structures at all or religiously-unaffiliated energy work. Remetj may practice religions above Kemetic Orthodoxy, alongside, etc. Shemsu are asked to place their dedication to Netjer (God, Divinity, etc) higher than all other religious practices, but again - they are not asked to abandon these practices altogether.

So, Coty (YT: Cotyism), Paul (YT: SpykeVampyre), and I are all signed up for the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginner's classes, set to start (most likely) next week. We will all be learning together, and it is my hope that I can journal some of my experiences here for you all to see. At the end of the process, I will undergo the Rite of Parent Divination (RPD), and depending upon the results of that Rite, decide if I will go on to become a Shemsu of the faith and receive a Shemsu name. So, here is the formal announcement. I am not going back on this... I have found not only a practice that resonates with me, but a spiritual home - a community with whom I feel truly connected. I have found fellowship... I have found a Temple; physical, and spiritual. I am still a Pagan, I always will be, and I will always defend my fellow Pagans with all that I am, regardless of differences in belief structure. However, it must be said.

I am no longer a Wiccan.

EEK GASP! ;P Okay, I apologize for the dramatic big text... but I wanted to formalize it. As a result of my no longer being a Wiccan, I will be removing all of my videos on Wicca. I feel that it has served its purpose. Those of you who were helped in any way by my videos, I am glad to have played a part in the growth of your spirituality. If ever you need to talk about your path or want advice, I am still always here to lend an ear or a shoulder, to hear you out. However, I no longer consider myself any kind of voice, obscure or well-known, for the Wiccan community on YouTube. I may open up a new channel in the future, but if I do, it will be based upon Paganism in general, current events, and Kemetic spirituality. I appreciate all of you for having made the past 3 years of my time on YouTube discussing Wicca such a wonderful experience, and hope that you all find peace and happiness on your spiritual journeys.

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura