Blog of an Obscure Pagan

Em hotep (in peace) everyone!

So, I realize it's been a good amount of time since I last posted here. I apologize, most of my focus has been elsewhere at the moment. During this month of winter break Cody was here about half the time to spend the holidays with me and my family, and the other half I was focused on the KO Beginners' class.

Speaking of which, the beginners' class just ended the end of December. :) There's been a bit of waiting involved with the administrative stuff getting wrapped up, but I received the Final Graduation Questionnaire, subsequently filled it out and sent it to the Nisut (AUS). I elected to stay a part of the community as a Remetj ("friend of the faith") - that is, for now. I have every intention of undergoing the Rite of Parent Divination as soon as it is possible/convenient for all parties involved, and then receiving my Shemsu name. I am incredibly excited about these experiences and have been spending quite a bit of time pondering the possible results. I've also been performing the Rite of Senut on average about 1-2 times a week, and just started attending Fellowship chats. All in all it has been (and is) an incredibly rewarding, spiritually fulfilling experience!

On another note, tomorrow (bright and early... yay) I start my final undergraduate semester of college. On Saturday, May 8th, I will be walking across the stage to receive my BS in Computer and Information Science, and graduate cum laude (with honors). They base your honor status upon the semester previous to the one you graduate in (as the profs really can't get your final grade in time for the ceremony), so I'm already locked into that. :D I am SO excited to finally be done with undergrad... but I'm not excited about starting the semester tomorrow. I already got 2 of my course syllabuses...syllabi... sylla- whatever x.x, and I already have been assigned 3 projects for the semester. Not fun. Not to mention that my Tuesday and Thursday classes require me to wake up at 6:30 so I can be out the door at 7:30 and get there before 8 AM. The tradeoff is all my classes are done that day by a little after noon, and I have a good hour and 45 minute break between the two morning classes I have scheduled for those days. Mon/Wed/Fri, I have a solid block of 3 courses from 12 - 3. Not bad at all, assuming I'm not buried in books and struggling like last semester, I may be able to enjoy my final stint at college and have some semblence of a life. ^.^;

...After graduation, I really won't have much down time. At all. In an effort to increase my possibility of being able to go to Tawy House (Temple of the KO faith) for the New Year's retreat known as Wep Ronpet, I elected to start work at the beginning of June. That way, it won't be so terribly bad to ask for maybe 3 days off in August (Interesting tidbit: The Kemetic New Year is calculated in accordance with the rising of the star Sirius, also called Sopdet... hence the summer date). I'm excited to be out on my own, ALL on my own, for the first time- but I'm also pretty scared. I need to get a credit card, so I can actually build credit... and learn how to keep track of bills, how to do my taxes, all of that nice wonderful FUN stuff. I also have to find a new doctor, dentist, gyno, eye doctor, oil change place, etc etc. Oh, did I mention an apartment? x.x One that will have outrageous rent in excess of 1K a month due to the expensive area I'm moving to? Yeah. Part of me is eager to be on my own and part of me is afraid of all the responsibility. I guess that's just what comes with growing up. I just hope I do well at my job, people like me, and I can contribute substantially to the company. I don't want to be a grunt worker- I want to IMPROVE things, make them better, bring creative ideas to the table. I know eventually to move into management I'll need to go back to school for my Master's, so I'm keeping that in mind as well.

Anyway, that's all for the moment. Hope that gives you a nice update of what's been up with me.

Senebty,

Laura

Em hotep (in peace) everyone,

Some of you may have noticed that my YouTube channel has finally bit the bullet, so to speak. ;P I decided to leave a very small few videos on public, many were made private and some were also deleted. I had the full intent of entirely closing my channel down to start anew once my place in my new spiritual path is established, however I did not want to lose many of the videos I have done in the past- namely, those that pretty much chronicle the growth of my relationship with my significant other over the past 2 years.

Anyway, no new videos will be going up on my YouTube channel. It is essentially a dead channel, though I thank you all again for the wonderful 3 years or so you have given me on YouTube. I am not, however, leaving the internet altogether- that's pretty near impossible for me! My blog will remain, and I will continue to voice my thoughts and opinions here in a context where there are no 'expectations' or haters breathing down my neck everytime I open my mouth. I will try my best to keep you all updated, especially on my new faith- Kemetic Orthodoxy.

Speaking of which, the KO beginners' class just began last week, and so far things are going wonderfully! We had two chats regarding the lesson material this week, both of which I was fortunate enough to attend. The Kai-Imakhus ("Exalted Reverends") who are running the chats are incredibly intelligent people, and it's quite fun to get to pick their brains ;P I've also begun performing the central rite of the faith, called "Senut," every evening that I can. It seems that since the class has started, though, many of the familiar Names (Gods) I had significant interaction with previously have kind of "backed off" to let me explore and learn on my own. I'm hoping that with my continued prayer and activity in the class that they or any new Names will make themselves known to me, or at least just drop in and say hello every now and then. It's been quiet for a week or two, but I'm keeping my eyes/ears/mind/heart open ;P Apparently this is a similar experience to what many go through during the beginners' period, so I'm not worried in the least. I've been waiting for this class for around 5 or 6 months, so this is a really exciting time for me. I'm finally on my way to having my Rite of Parent Divination (RPD) done, and then my Shemsu-naming. Nekhtet (victory)!

Senebty (may you be healthy),

Laura

Em hotep all. :)

Sorry for not having posted in over a month, things are getting pretty busy 'round these parts. We're past the midway point of the semester so my schoolwork is slowly suffocating me, thankfully that'll be over and done with by mid-December.

Other than that, I have been maintaining my private blog weekly for the most part, awaiting the start of the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginners' class, and losing weight. I've lost about 6 pounds in a little under 3 weeks, so I'm right on track! My final, high-end goal is to be back at my freshman year of high school weight, which at this point requires me to lose another 36 pounds. These past 3 weeks have been pretty easy as all I've been doing is cutting down my calories massively without starving myself, the fat has been burning off all by itself. I really wish I would've figured out this system earlier, I never would've gotten as 'big' as I am if I had ;P 2 pounds a week is a healthy amount to shed, and losing it gradually helps prevent the risk of all that flabby skin and disgustingness that comes with drastic weight loss in too short a period of time. x.x It's all good. I just have to keep it up and not give into temptation when Halloween candy, Thanksgiving feasting, and Christmas goodies start being shoved in my face :P

Anyway, I'll keep this one brief. Expect more out of me when the semester is done kicking my ass! :)

Senebty,

Laura

Hotep (peace) everyone,

So I know I said I'd probably be pretty much dead on YouTube for a while, but apparently- I lied. ;)

No, actually I just got a really good idea for a video while I was laying in bed last night, and thought you all might be interested to hear about it. This two-part video is basically a disambiguation of Egyptian hawk Deities, as most people have a misconception that Egyptian + hawk = Horus, when this is most certainly NOT always the case. As such, I give a breakdown of how to tell the difference between Heru-sa-Aset, Heru-Wer, Ra, Ra-Heruakhety, and Khonsu. This is by all means NOT the only hawk deities you will run into in any studies of Egyptian Gods, but they are pretty well-known.

I also speak a bit in the end about syncretization and how I view syncretized deities... and give a pretty tasty analogy. xD Enjoy!

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura

Part 1:


Part 2:

Okay, so I'm giving you all permission to yell at me now and tell me to make up my f*cking mind. <.<;

...Just kidding. Actually, I fully recognize that my spiritual "confusion" has all happened for a reason, and a very important one at that. It seems like every other day, my path is changing, evolving, moving back and forth, taking on new elements, shedding others, and morphing into something else entirely. Some may call this fickle, and some may think that I need to just chill out and "stick with something" already. It's been a long while that I have wrestled with labels, my spiritual path, and where I belong, but the journey was and is necessary for me. Every time I enter a new spirituality, revisit an old one, etc, I learn something new about myself. I've learned more about my values and my personal beliefs in the past few months than I have in the entire 7 years I have studied Pagan faiths. It took seeing the world in so many different contexts for me to gain a new perspective, see things from others points-of-view, and formulate my own ideas about the mystery of the lives that we lead and the world around us.

It is after all of this, considering my own views, reevaluating myself constantly, and NEVER ceasing to ask myself questions that I have been able to find a faith that aligns with those views. This path is Kemetic Orthodoxy. I've spoken before about my interest in Kemetic spirituality, the Egyptian gods and how they have come into my life in various ways, but after having been a part of the House of Netjer Forum first as a lurker and now as a guest for a combined two years, I have come to decide that this IS the path I want to take. Why? In all of my spiritual experience, I have never interacted with any spiritual entities that felt so.. *tangible*. Reachable, touchable, able to interact with us and cause change in the lives of mortals. It is this tangibility I have been seeking in my spirituality for quite some time now, and I think I've found it. This doesn't mean that on occasion I won't honor or express affection towards deities of other pantheons. This also does not mean that I will not continue my divinatory practices, crystal work, or Reiki. None of these things even remotely conflict with the standard tenets of Kemetic Orthodoxy. Rather, there is no requirement for one who enters the House of Netjer as a Remetj (friend of the Faith) or Shemsu (member of the House) to abandon previous belief structures at all or religiously-unaffiliated energy work. Remetj may practice religions above Kemetic Orthodoxy, alongside, etc. Shemsu are asked to place their dedication to Netjer (God, Divinity, etc) higher than all other religious practices, but again - they are not asked to abandon these practices altogether.

So, Coty (YT: Cotyism), Paul (YT: SpykeVampyre), and I are all signed up for the Kemetic Orthodoxy beginner's classes, set to start (most likely) next week. We will all be learning together, and it is my hope that I can journal some of my experiences here for you all to see. At the end of the process, I will undergo the Rite of Parent Divination (RPD), and depending upon the results of that Rite, decide if I will go on to become a Shemsu of the faith and receive a Shemsu name. So, here is the formal announcement. I am not going back on this... I have found not only a practice that resonates with me, but a spiritual home - a community with whom I feel truly connected. I have found fellowship... I have found a Temple; physical, and spiritual. I am still a Pagan, I always will be, and I will always defend my fellow Pagans with all that I am, regardless of differences in belief structure. However, it must be said.

I am no longer a Wiccan.

EEK GASP! ;P Okay, I apologize for the dramatic big text... but I wanted to formalize it. As a result of my no longer being a Wiccan, I will be removing all of my videos on Wicca. I feel that it has served its purpose. Those of you who were helped in any way by my videos, I am glad to have played a part in the growth of your spirituality. If ever you need to talk about your path or want advice, I am still always here to lend an ear or a shoulder, to hear you out. However, I no longer consider myself any kind of voice, obscure or well-known, for the Wiccan community on YouTube. I may open up a new channel in the future, but if I do, it will be based upon Paganism in general, current events, and Kemetic spirituality. I appreciate all of you for having made the past 3 years of my time on YouTube discussing Wicca such a wonderful experience, and hope that you all find peace and happiness on your spiritual journeys.

Senebty (May you be healthy),

Laura

Hello and Blessings Everyone.

I think it's pretty clear from many of my recent postings that for the past few weeks, I have been quite "spiritually confused." For a while, I would be getting impulses every other day- "maybe I should be this! maybe I'm a recon! Maybe, Maybe..." An underlying theme in all of this is that I have been making FAR too many decisions, FAR too fast.

But why? Why do I have to jump from one path to another, immediately? The answer is- I don't. No one does. It's okay to be confused, it's okay to wander for a while until you find your bearings again. You don't have to jump headfirst into another path if you are not ready, and you really shouldn't. There's nothing wrong with taking time for personal reflection, questioning, pondering, and waiting for signs from the Gods as to where to go from here. It's better to be sure. It's better to take the time, study what is out there, reflect, and meditate. It's better to take the time to listen to your intuition and really hear the WHOLE story, instead of jumping the gun and going on your first impulse.

When it comes down to it, spirituality is fluid. Regardless of what religion you start in and what religion you end up in (if any), they all influence the structure of your beliefs, and they all in some way, shape, or form, make you who you are today. Just because you're no longer Christian doesn't mean that Christianity and being in it hasn't influenced your beliefs, or your perception of the world, and that's okay. Every faith has something to teach, good or bad, and all are valuable lessons.

So, I'm going on a spiritual hiatus of sorts. I will still blog when I get the impulse, and let you all know where I'm headed and what I've been pondering. However, I need this time to think things through, and most importantly- to listen. To open myself up, and to listen to what the Gods are trying to tell me before I jump headfirst into something else. In the meantime, I am still a Witch. I don't think my relationship with nature, the elements, and magick is ever going to fade, it's that deeply a part of me. However, I am keeping that path separate from my reverence for the Gods, which has and always will come first... I just need to find out who these voices belong to.

)O( BB,

Laura

Hello again and blessings everyone,

I'm just posting today to say that last night at 9:53 PM, my little niece Isabella Marie was born! She is absolutely beautiful and healthy as can be.

While the whole ordeal of my sister-in-law's long 12-14 hour labor was going on, I came up with a birthing chant, almost a way to "coax" the baby into venturing out into the world. It's 2 lines, repeated as much as necessary, continually reinforcing your intent and hopefully aiding the labor process:

Blessed Child, out of sight,
Come Ye forth into the light!

You can even sing it if you'd like. I sang it in the car on my way home the other day and came to find out that as soon as I left (to go relax and eat dinner before I came back to the hospital) my sister-in-law's contractions got even worse and she had completely dilated!

Just another tidbit that I hope is useful to you all in some way.

)O( BB,

Laura